Diaphragmatic Interruptions
by RedDragon30000
Summary: Chell contracts hiccups in the middle of a test and chaos ensues when GLaDOS and Wheatley attempt to cure her. set after Portal 2


**Diaphragmatic**** Interruptions**

With a muted clang, Chell landed smoothly on her feet after plummeting from a highly placed portal. She swiftly walked towards the exit door of the test chamber, heading towards the button beside it with a Weighted Storage Cube hovering on the end of her ASHPD. However, she was abruptly halted just before it when she became startled by a curious sensation emanating from her throat. It honestly felt like there was something lodged in there, but she knew that was impossible. She hadn't eaten for at least six hours, so it was completely impossible that some stay piece of food had-

_Hic! _

She jumped, started by the sound. Where on earth had that-

_Hic! _

Alright, she knew where it came from now, she had felt it force its way up her throat and out of her mouth. She sighed softly to herself, frustrated by these interruptions. She was really close to completing this test, and saw no reason why something as commonplace as hiccups should stop her. Moving towards the button again, she cursed silently as another strong hiccup made her entire body shake slightly.

_Clang!_ She blinked in a startled fashion at the sound, finding that the weighted storage cube had somehow detached itself from her ASHPD and struck the metal floor of the test chamber. Crouching slightly she activated the tractor beam at the end of the AHPD and was alarmed to see it spark slightly and fizzle away. Frantically she attempted to activate it numerous times, but to no avail. This was bad. The brief shaking fit from her hiccups must have scrambled some of the hardware inside the device. She was just thankful that GLaDOS had temporarily stopped monitoring her test to correct a problem with the turret production line that Wheatley had inadvertently caused. If she found out what had happened to the ASHPD things could get very uncomfortable for Chell. She was startled from her musings by the whirr of a panel moving aside and a cheerful voice calling "Hello luv! You nearly done?" She looked up to see Wheatley peering at her from behind one of the walls. She smiled slightly and was about to wave to him when he gasped and raised the volume of his voice in slight alarm "Why is your portal gun sparking like that? Is something wrong with it?"Her eyes widened and she frantically gestured to him to shut up before-

"_What have you done to that Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device you imbecile?_"

Once GLaDOS had regained control of the facility, she had actually decided to keep the large screens that Wheatly had installed in various test chambers in his brief reign as ruler of Aperture. It meant that if she wished to get a specific point across or emphasise something to her best test subject, the sight of her imposing presence doubled its effectiveness. It was certainly effective now. Chell cringed and Wheatley shrank back slightly as her furious hiss cut across the room and her narrowed yellow optic seemed to lunge out at them. Chell frantically attempted to sign an explanation to stave off the AI's growing anger, but was defeated in her purpose by a succession of rapid hiccups, which left her wide-eyed at their acceleration and increasingly frustrated. There was a short period of silence in the test chamber as both GLaDOS and Wheatley were struck speechless by this new development. This was immediately shattered by Wheatley's panicked rambling:

"ohmygod! Are you ok? Are you dying? What's wrong with you-_ack!_"

Wheatley was abruptly cut off as an enraged GLaDOS slammed a wall panel intro his casing, causing the light in his optic to snap upward in pain. Chell slapped a hand across her face in despair as the clang of the panel echoed across the chamber, before waving frantically to get GLaDOS' attention and pointing a desperate finger at her trembling form which was being buffeted by more hiccups. A simulated sigh of disgust and frustration came from the AI on the screen before she rolled her optic heavenwards and snapped "_Hey, moron! Stop cowering in the corner and make yourself useful! Plug yourself into the central system and start researching cures for __synchronous diaphragmatic flutter, or to put it in moron's terms, hiccups_" Her gaze swivelled back to her increasingly miserable test subject and she grunted "_Sit down before that idiotic shaking causes any more damage to the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device._" Chell flushed uncomfortably as the AI's gaze bored into hers and immediately obeyed, an expression of apprehension flitting across her face as she wandered what GLaDOS would do to her for damaging the most expensive piece of equipment that Aperture created. GLaDOS felt a rush of deliciously dark amusement fill her circuits before she reluctantly banished Chell's fears. "_As the damage you caused was accidental, you will not be punished for this. Now stop blushing like a fool and try to get yourself under control_" She nodded, and silence once more stole over the chamber as GLaDOS conducted her own cure research and Chell struggled fruitlessly to stop hiccupping.

After a small amount of time had passed, Wheatley suddenly zoomed into view, yelling "I've got it, I've got it! I know how to cure her!" Chell raised an eyebrow and GLaDOS dryly replied "_Well, do enlighten us with this _astonishing_ miracle; we are _agog_ to hear of your findings_". Wheatley's shutters closed briefly in happiness and excitement as he prepared to impart his knowledge. It did not surprise the other occupants of the room that he had completely failed to detect the sarcasm in GLaDOS' tone. "Ok, so what we have to do here is make her drink water! That's it, lots and lots of water!" Chell openly gaped at him, unable to believe what she had just heard. Wheatley continued to ramble on, oblivious to her expression. "

Ok, you have to get her to drink it differently from normal, so let's make her drink upside down! Why don't we use that water down there, that looks like it will work!"

At this point he gestured with his optic to the murky sludge that gurgled around the base of the platform that Chell was currently sitting on. At this last idiotic pronouncement GLaDOS could contain herself no longer and snapped "_That water is _toxic_, you moron!_" This seemed to be the last straw for Wheatley as well as he bellowed "I. .!" Chell jumped as his shout reverberated around the test chamber and jumped again at the _clang!_ of the wall panelwhich followed a second later as GLaDOS' strained temper finally snapped. As she attempted to calm herself down from this experience, she suddenly noticed that the irritating presence of the hiccups had vanished. Instantly she attempted to convey this information to GLaDOS and Wheatley, but they were far too caught up in exchanging insults to notice. Giving in to a bust of recklessness and daring, she picked up the weighted storage cube with a small amount of difficulty and hurled it with as much force as she could at GLaDOS' screen. As the AI starred in consternation at her suddenly reckless test subject through her now cracked view, Wheatley was the first to notice the lack of shaking in Chell's posture.

"You're cured! Oh, that's amazing! How did you do it?" Chell answered with a shrug, as she herself had no idea why they had suddenly gone. GLaDOS' sardonic voice interrupted this interlude as she murmured "_Since you _are _cured, perhaps you could make yourself useful and bring the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Devise to my chamber so that I can affect repairs_". Wheatley broke in from his corner with a cheery "meet you there, luv!" and sped off down his rail without waiting for an answer. For her part, Chell was very relieved that GLaDOS had not retaliated for her act of vandalism, and strode off with a small; degree of contentment through the test chamber door that GLaDOS remotely opened. This happiness was short-lived as GLaDOS shot a stinging burst of electricity from an exposed wire straight into her rear with a large amount of gleeful satisfaction.


End file.
